THE WISDOM EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN MISSING & WHY YOU NEED IT

 

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

A hard working young man missing wisdom to steward a change / Photo Courtesy / Tima Miroshnichenko

Open Your Eyes

Let me begin by making a few disclosures before we proceed. I love and respect life. The mutual relationship I share with life is one of a teacher and a student. I have been alive long enough to understand one thing. Life is unapologetic. If it wishes to make a move. It will do so whether you are in agreement with it or not. Life operates like a boss. It does not need permission to spring forth new things. Life happens as it was planned. And it does not matter whether the things its brings up are good or bad. As long as, the season is ripe. And a certain event was supposed to take place. That life event will happen no matter how much you push back. Life does not explain itself. It comes and goes as it wishes. And throughout these changes. I have learned to open my eyes. Because as life unfolds, it comes with special lessons too.

I love those little special lessons. I see them as my growth moments. So it does not matter whether I am having a good day or not. When something changes in my own life. I remain attentive to catch the special moments in the rough or smooth change. I especially pay extra attention when life interrupts my schedule or plans. When the unexpected happens and I lose all my money or the lifestyle I know so well. I don’t focus my energies on the loss or the pain of losing something valuable. Instead, I fight to remain present. I remain in the moment because my desire shifts to why that loss happened at that particular point in my life. I was definitely on a journey of my own. I was going somewhere. But suddenly got interrupted. That kind of unexpected turn of events make me curious. I definitely have to pause. And make room to receive an answer.

A sudden change in a lifestyle might traumatize you. Because a major loss robs you of something. If it does not temper with your dignity. Then, it might as well, just interfere with your psychology. Where you lose focus and pay attention on the wrongs things. The wrong thing in this context being the pain, frustration, or the work that you are left with to fill up the gaps. An unexpected event is enough distraction. But when you are on a journey somewhere and circumstances suddenly change. And you are forced into a detour you never anticipated. Throwing tantrums is not usually the right reaction. The right reaction is curiosity. Why now, when I had all these going on? I was making the right turn in my career. I was making the right decisions for my future. I was living a responsible life. So why now when I have all these plans?

Life Knows Much More Than Your Petty Egos

An asitute man learning why he needs wisdom / Photo / Orlando Allo

That is what a wise person does. A wise person feels the pain. A wise person mourns the loss. A wise person sees the work that will go into rebuilding. However, a wise person does not remain in a mourning state. You have to force yourself to snap out of the pain or disappointment. Because moments like those don’t just happen.  You just don’t lose much of your wealth on what should have been your tenth year career anniversary. Your life does not turn into something you don’t know for nothing. So the right person has to pay attention. The right person has to open his or her eyes. Something else other than pain is usually taking place. And if you lose focus. You will miss a lesson. And in scenarios like these, lessons come in different layers. Which means, if you must go back to your normal life. You will have to look deep enough to find yourself again.   

And you know what that means sometimes. Enduring uncomfortable realities in your own life. Like for me, the lifestyle that I have known most of my adult life is a lifestyle of financial freedom. Money has never been my problem. I have always operated from a place of abundance. So paying bills has never been my concern. But imagine life happening and that freedom lifestyle slips out of your hands. That suddenly you have to deal with a lifestyle you don’t know. And you want to tell me your focus is to cry or mourn the loss of a lifestyle? In my case, when something like this happens. I want to remain awake throughout the season. Pain can wait. But my next immediate strategy is, “I want my life back.” So in this kind of mindset, I am ready for a fight. Because my financial freedom is worth a fight. So the different layers of discomfort can come. However, my ultimate goal is to get back to my normal life of abundance.

When you get interrupted in such upsetting ways as this. Your normal life is usually fast forwarded to several months ahead. Or even a couple of years ahead. So what do you do? Cry yourself to several months ahead. Or open your eyes and remain in the moment. To learn what you need to reconnect with your normal life. I mean, life is a great teacher. When thieves come to steal your hard earned life. That loss is for your own good according to teacher Life. If you become a good student in the loss. If you allow the different layers of discomfort to shape you towards the future. You will actually find your lost life. You will actually bump into your financial freedom. If you keep the right attitude throughout the upsetting changes you experienced. This is why I love and respect life. Because it knows better than your petty egos.

What is the Message in the Mess?

A diligent man proofing why he needs this wisdom / Photo / Wanphrang Ymbon

When you are in the middle of a beautiful journey and circumstances suddenly change. Don’t be too quick to throw tantrums.  Tantrums are expected. They are the next step reaction after you hit something. The pain comes first. And it is entirely upto you. To decide how you respond to a disappointment. You either feel the pain with a good attitude or feel the pain with a bad attitude. Throwing a tantrum is responding to a disappointment with a bad attitude. And when you respond like that. You have lost track. Because you never took a moment to understand what happened. Instead, you reacted first. And this means, you never paid attention. To what made you miss one step on the stairs, which resulted in you falling or hitting something. Reactions are not what life is after. Life is after you. It is deeply interested in helping you grow.   

And how do you grow as an adult? Through disappointments and setbacks. The detours you don’t like. The interruptions you loathe. The unexpected losses. Thieves and discomforts. These are just examples of a human’s growth moments. Going through challenging moments but remaining hopeful. Because at the back of life’s mind. A detour is not a setback. A detour is a delayed gratification. A language life uses to tell you that before you achieve that milestone you had in your plans. There is a crash course you must go through. So if you are still interested in achieving something. A detour is your learning moment. An opportunity to learn new things that will make the future exciting. Adults grow in pain. And those who endure to reconnect with their lost valuables have incredible beautiful stories to tell.          

Life has plenty of these goodies to serve. A lot of big pictures you don’t see in the beginning because they are dressed in rugs. And most of us want nothing to do with rugs. Yet, all along. Life always wants the best for you. All the new things it keeps spring forth whether positive or negative are for your own good. You only need to be the right person in your own party. One who reacts but never remains in the reaction mood. You can only get to this point of being disappointment but looking forward by refusing to get lost.

The pain, anger, upset, and detours often times are just distractions. They come in the form of immediate obstacles challenging your incredible story fast forwarded to several months or years ahead. We all have empowering lovely stories after the storm. However, not all of us rise to the occasion. Some of us are distracted by trauma. Some with depression. And others with pain. And every time you yield to any of these challenges. You lose the curiosity of why life interrupted you on your tenth career anniversary. Setbacks don’t just occur. There is a whole meaning behind them. And only the wise get explanations and answers.