THIS IS THE REAL STRUGGLE

 

BUILDING BETTER HABITS

A frustrated woman struggling to solve a problem /Photo Courtesy /Andrea Piacquadio

‘Inclined Abstainers’

Society is composed of many groups of people. And the most visible and celebrated group is the one that turns tragedy into triumph. We love hearing the stories of this group. Because their resilience teaches us courage. Their stories resonate to our own struggles. And we find strength from their courage to face own challenges and difficulties. This group also teaches us that human beings are strong. And they only need to train their mind to focus on the right things during times of extreme turbulence. This group in our typical society can be termed as, the motivated group. People who are actively involved in their own change. They are willing to perform certain activities, which result in transformational change. However, there are other groups of people in society who are not as successful, as the motivated group. One of this group is called inclined abstainers. This group lack the motivation of the first group. They are not motivated in any way to change.

Inclined abstainers do not actively engage in activities that result in change. They sit on problems and totally ignore the risks that those problems present. Often times, this group suffer from severe issues. However, it is unwilling to change. It does not matter how much help is offered to this group. They are not just in the mood. And everyone but them is worried about the severe problem. This group not only suffer from amotivation but also lack of urgency. The frame of mind they operate with is toxic. They have convinced their mind that there is no point in pursuing change. Because there is nothing to fight for. There is nothing important they can do with their lives. According to them, the world is the same. It is the same people to knew ten years ago. There is nothing new. So they are not interested in change. Based on their toxic analysis of life, they have given up. And are not trying to achieve anything. Inclined abstainers would rather die than find motivation to break free from toxic mentality.

This is the real struggle. When you have a problem, but would rather not acknowledge it. You are willing to give up even before you try. Your health is at risk but you don’t care. A lot of things around you are at stake. However, you are not ready to face them. according to you, you see nothing wrong. And you are not in a hurry to take any action. In fact, you are comfortable being who you are. Stuck in the same place for a long time. This is devastating. The extreme at which you are disputing reality and the truth is shocking. You are shocking other people with your inability to see danger. You are obese for example but you don’t want to acknowledge your obesity problem. Everyone around you agrees that you do not have the luxury to delay even one more day. Your health is at risky. You can easily lose your life. The possibility of you dying in your sleep is high. Being obese can lead to a condition known as, obstructive sleep apnea, which causes a drastic drop in oxygen circulation.

A couple struggling to express their emotions /photo Courtesy/ Antoni Shkraba

Yet despite qualified healthcare practitioners pointing out these risks, inclined abstainers just don’t listen. They are unmoved and remain adamant to change. If they are obese, they are not willing to take up relevant exercises to help them lose weight. There is absolutely nothing that matter to this group. They are unmotivated and don’t care whether they die or survive. This is when it becomes frustrating for people who want to help. Because you cannot change a person who does not want to change. You cannot fight their battles if they are not willing to fight. That is not how change happen. Change only takes place when individual persons see the need for change. An individual must have an interest in something for them to see the value for change. If the individual does not see the need for change, those who labor for change on his/her behalf do so in vain.

Change Must Be Desired

You have to desire change to initiate it. You must be in the frontline. You must have the urgency yourself. If there is something that needs to be fixed, you as the individual must see the value of a different outcome. You must be willing to challenge your comfort zone. You must be willing to take actions that help you change. If you are obese for example, you should be the first person to see the need for weight loss. You must be motivated on your own to lose weight. When your mind is convinced that change is necessary. It becomes easy to solve your obese problem. Doctors and physical therapists can help you. They can share the types of food and activities you need to help you lose weight. And the focus here is not just to lose weight. The objective is to overhaul past bad practices. It is about lifestyle change. You have to let go of practices that created the problem in the first place.

A professional struggling with motivation /Photo /Nataliya Vaitkevich

If you are obese because you are addicted to food, you must address the underlying causes. You must face the trauma behind food addiction. The trauma is the problem. Face it. Talk to a psychologist about things that you struggle with, which make you see food as a safe zone. Problems that make you resort to eating because food makes you feel good. Open up and get to the bottom of those problems. This is how your life changes. Knowing that you have a problem and doing nothing about it does not help you. You gain nothing by being indifferent to change. Keeping a toxic mind will destroy your life. Don’t conclude that there is nothing good out there for you. There world is not the same. Break out of your echo chamber. Face your problems. Fight for your survival. There is something you can do out there.

It is distressing to have a problem and reject change at the same time. Problems that risk taking your own life cannot be played with. You need to take action as soon as; someone suggest those actions to you. You cannot be lazy when you are in danger. You cannot afford to be demotivated at a critical point in your life. It is your health and life at stake. You cannot tell those people who want to help you that you don’t care. This is your struggle. See it like that first. The least you can do is get in the mood even when you don’t want to and start working towards a solution. You have no time to act when you want. You don’t have that frill. You have to fight for your own survival. You more than anyone else should be in the driver seat. And get into the driver seat without an attitude or temper.

The problem of amotivation is not easy to break. Real life presents unique challenges to inclined abstainers. They are not motivated and there is nothing you can do about it. This is a public health challenge. Inclined abstainers present challenges to healthcare professionals. And it is not one person who suffers from lack of motivation. A lot of people in society are amotivated. And are not readily willing to fix problems. They want to postpone until they are in the mood. Yet, they are running out of time. There is no perfect time to solve a problem. Come to terms with your own issues and decide to get help. People struggle because the issues they face are complex. And you have to force yourself to be just a little bit interested. And start listening to good counsel that helps you.