WHY ARE THEY TESTING YOU?

 

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Quarrelling men testing the patience of a mediator Jacob Wackerhause

Today’s post aims to help you navigate away from people, who want to drag you in their mess. Our subject today is arguments. In a typical normal society, arguments are the order of the day. People argue about different things ranging from business to personal. And there is a special category of people in society who specialize in minding your business. People you have got no interest in. People you don’t know, are plotting against you. They are laying all types of traps. They want you to get into an argument with them. They are looking for a fight when your mind has nothing do with a fight. They are toxic. And they want to spread their toxicity to other people. We have people in society who enjoy getting into arguments with other people, about issues they can control. Stuff that can easily be avoided.  Things that require one to exercise his or her common sense.

But this special category of people does not exercise its common sense. Instead, its way of life, is getting in the way of others. They do so intentionally. They want to see how you will react. And when you get upset, that is their joy. They got you. Now they are ready for a fight. They already have prepared answers. This is something they have thought about and planned. You were the only one who did not get the memo. Or perhaps you got the memo, and tried your level best to distance yourself from them. But they cannot just stop. They want a reaction from you. They want to disrupt your life. They want to get your mind off your most important activities. They want you to waste your energies and time in a foolish argument. An argument, which should have never happened had everyone just focused on his or her life.

Someone wants this argument so bad that, this someone has now elevated his/her game. The person is now getting in your face. The person is not hiding anymore. The person is crossing every path you use. The person is on your window when you lock your door. He is determined to upset you. You know these kind of people. Their goal is to interrupt smooth flow. They enjoy chaos, and think that everyone is like them. In a big society such as, the modern society, there are all sorts of people. You just need to understand your environment, and you will begin to see things and trends. My objective today is to help you learn the best way to respond to these kind of behavior. Your life is important. Things that are running in your mind are important. And as such, no one has the right to interfere with your life, simply because they are naïve or ignorant. The mere fact that you focus a lot on your issues does not necessarily mean that you become a target to fools.

Let it Pass

You deserve your peace and no one has the right to bring chaos in your peaceful environment. There are three ways you can respond to this kind of behavior. One of those ways is to intentionally ignore the issue, and let it pan out. You can make this decision when the person trying to get you into an argument thinks that you don’t know what he or she is doing. The person thinks that he or she is well ahead of you. The person thinks that he will catch you using the element of surprise. By continuously doing things to irritate you. When you notice these irritating behaviors from this category of people, don’t be quick to respond. Watch them. Pay attention. Give them time to check their list of chaos they want to cause. When you decide to ignore the matter, you do so from a point of knowledge. A place of empowerment. A place of wisdom.

There are so many things that happen in a typical society. By using this perspective, you learn very quickly that, there are people who will never mind their business. They make other people’s lives their business. So, they mess around all the time. And if, this is what they love doing, it is not your call to get them out of this habit, especially if the people in question do not see it as a problem. So, don’t manage them. Let them display their foolishness. Toxic ignorant people, always play games with other people. They think that life should happen as they see it. That is disrespecting everyone. And lambasting themselves everywhere. They cross boundaries all the time and see nothing wrong with that. They trespass and laugh about it. Do not be an enabler of this behavior. Let it go. Focus on your business. Don’t satisfy their foolishness by arguing with them. 

Confront Them

The second approach. You can decide to confront them, and call the foolishness out. Tell them that you know what they are doing. Warn them about this behavior. Tell them to stop playing games with you. Tell the person to stop dancing with the devil. Tell them there will be consequences if they continue to get in your way intentionally. Tell the people that you are not interested in their nonsense. Ask them to go find people of their caliber and play those games with them far away you’re your sight. You have better things to do with your life and time. And it does not matter that someone is having a bad day. It is not your fault that they are having a bad day and a bad attitude at the same time. If, the person does not know how to stay still and, you are not the playground. You cannot, and will not be their playground. Speak your mind. Tell them you will take action next time they get in your face.

Do not tolerate bad behavior. And people who champion bad behavior ought to be called out and told on their face that they are misbehaving. They need to know that that toxicity and bad behavior is not acceptable. They need to know that their toxicity will not be entertained. That you will not accept people you have nothing to do with, start playing in your court. Protect yourself. Report them somewhere. Tell them you are not the type of person; people can play with. And if, the words alone don’t work, escalate the matter with the right people. Tell them that if, you will be forced into taking action; your action will be ruthless. That your response will be unforgettable. They will remember it for the rest of their lives. Tell the person to find better things to do with their time. If, someone is idle for example, tell the person that he cannot bring his/her idleness to you. After all, you had nothing do with this mess.

Get into Argument

If, you are the type of person who does not back down from solicited confrontation, then get in the mess. Get in the shouting match. Tell the person how you will break their face. Tell them how you will punch them in the face. But be warned against this approach. A person that is looking for an argument has thought about it. you haven’t thought about it. you are just reacting because someone is messing around. The person wanted a reaction from you. Now they have it. Therefore, when you get into an argument with this person; you will be bitten bad. You will be soaked in mud. People who intentionally look for fights from people who have nothing to do with them, are experts in this rubbish. You are the amateur.  You do not want to cross this path. They were preparing themselves by laying those traps. When they were testing you to argue with them, they also figured where to attack first. You will not win. And this has nothing to do with how good you are at arguing. They will win. And that will not be the only win.

They will also win the non-existent battle of getting your focus out of your important issues. They will win over your peace. They win over your mind. You will be more upset by the time this argument comes to an end. You will be disoriented in all ways. You will lose your image. At least, for that person, this is exactly how they wanted you to feel when they began this plot. The person wanted you to lose your mind. The person wanted to shame you. The person wanted to show all and sundry that you were no different than everyone. That you are also toxic. That you also enjoy chaos. But is that true? Do you actually enjoy chaos? You can do better. Don’t join the argument. Instead, let the person continue plotting until he or she finds a match or runs out of tricks. A match will be a worthy opponent. The opponent will be smarter. When that happens; rapscallion will learn the hard way.

Remember Your Integrity

There are so many things that want to drag you down right now. Your neighbor, your political enemies, masquerading criminals who want to steal from you, and maybe, the devil too. This is life. These types of things happen all the time. You just need to understand your environment. Don’t allow a person who is toxic or having a bad day draw you off course. Remain the leader in your life. Be in charge. Think through issues before you respond. Don’t fall too fast like that. There mere fact that someone wants you to fall does not necessarily mean you fall. Fight for your sanity. Remain focused. Be level-headed. Don’t let people around you destroy your soul. Remember your integrity. Not everything you are invited into are worth your attention. Weigh through matters. Don’t be too quick to respond. Watch the enemy. Learn his patterns. Be aware that you have an enemy. But keep your cool.

You learn a lot from these kinds of people and behavior. These people teach you that nowhere is safe. You could be in your best environment, fully focused on your problems or activities. But they will still come for you. Toxic people spread their toxicity by brushing shoulders. They step on others. They hit you unprovoked. They come into your space knowing that is your space. They are intentional about upsetting you. They want you in their mess. It does not matter how hidden you are. They will find you. You need to know that in an ordinary society; some people wish bad things on others. They pray for your failure. They curse you. So, be wise. Learn about these people. Be aware. But, remember your integrity. Don’t fall because someone wants you to fall. Be the leader. Lead yourself.