HOW TO WIN IN THE VALLEY OF DEATH

 CULTIVATING GROWTH MINDSET

A frustrated young man struggling to accept the valley of death. Photo Credit / Kaboompics.com 

What is the Valley of Death?

The ‘valley of death’ in our context is being in a hopeless situation where nothing seems to be working. It is almost similar to the situation described in Ezekiel 37. The lifeless bones do not have hope. No one knew that life can come out of them. It was a valley full of dry bones. Yet those bones represented the whole house of Israel. The bones in their wounded state did not have a future. That is the kind of valley of death I am talking about. I think you now understand. That standstill position that you can find yourself in. And you don’t know what to do. Your world is almost falling apart. Yet, you have so many things that must be done. This is a desperate place anyone can find him/herself. And it is the worst position in someone’s life. You don’t want to find yourself in the valley of death. However, life happens anyway. That which you don’t anticipate takes place.

Life takes place whether you like it or not. And when it does. It introduces new problems. Problems that you might not want to deal with because that is not what you had envisioned. Your plans had focused on something else. You were looking to making significant progress on the things that you were doing. That is where your mind was. Focused on what you wanted to achieve for the year or month. And you had planned everything. You had anticipated well and factored into your plans potential challenges. You knew how to approach such challenges. You had figured out your life. You were expecting good things. However, something suddenly happened and the course changed. And now you are not happy. You have been stalled. Nothing on your plan seems to be working. Instead, your world has been turned upside down. And you don’t know how to come out of this valley. If, that sounds like you. Don’t worry. We have an objective today. And that goal is to share three simple steps you can follow to navigate safely out of your worst circumstances.

Keep a Positive Mental Posture

When you find yourself in a very trying moment. The best you can do is to keep a positive mental posture. A mental posture is your overall perception of the situation. On the surface, your valley of death moment could be threatening your very livelihood. You could be losing something significant in your life. Circumstances around you could be beyond desperate. Your situation could be really bad. You could be scrambling for shelter. Your business could be sinking. Your bank account could be running out in the middle of your important projects. You could also be struggling with basic things that you previously met effortlessly. And you are worried about it. The matter is making you sick every morning. But you have a battle to fight. Don’t react with the events that are making you upset.

Don’t be carried away emotionally. The valley of death is meant to break you. To weaken you.  To make you resort to desperate measures to save yourself. But that is not how you are supposed to react. Tuning to desperate solutions will break you even further. Because what you thought is a solution is not a solution at all. The valley of death is chronic. It does not need frantic measures.  Your valley needs a well thought out plan. And that well thought out plan begins with you being very calm. Crave for more peace than being emotionally distressed by the situation. The feelings of disappointment are natural when you lose something valuable. You become emotional about it. You mourn the loss. In the valley of death, the gravity of loss is significant. And this means that you are even more emotional about the loss. When nothing is working. All you want to do is scream.

A valley of death Credit/Pixabay

That is the immediate human reaction. However, screaming has nothing to do with fixing the problem. When you scream. All you are doing is admitting the state of affairs. And there is nothing wrong with being emotional about losing your capacity to handle your life. Being emotional is being honest. You have lost and you are feeling the impact of the loss. Do all this emotional roller coaster. However, if your objective is to find a viable solution to your threatening problem. Then being emotionally attached is not the best approach. Hold yourself together mentally. Be hopeful in your mind. Be confident. Be strong in your mind. Keep a positive posture. Admit that it really looks bad on the surface. However, in your mind, say that you can endure the valley. You only need time to understand what is happening to your life.

Fight to Win

Part of your strategy to fight to win is to understand the underlying causes of the valley of death. A valley of death situation does not just happen. There are circumstances or conditions that create the valley of death. You need to understand what caused the hopeless situation you are currently dealing with. This is an important step in finding the right pathway to your problem.  Knowing the underlying causes help you focus on best approaches. Your focus should be to fight to win. Don’t look at how many things are falling apart. Focus on getting to the source of the problem. Identifying the basis will guide you on the best practices to follow. It will not be easy to gather yourself around. Some days your motivation to fight will not be there. But you must commit to fight anyway. You will not let circumstances determine how you feel or live.  

You are the human in the valley of death. Don’t accept defeat. You control the circumstances not vice versa. That is the posture you need. The posture of being in control. The mind of being the leader in the valley of death. Don’t yield to the pain or every thought that tells you. You have lost. The storm is really bad but fight. You are almost falling. You are running out of breath. You are feeling like you are being imprisoned in a hopeless cell where you can do nothing. With all these feelings, still fight to win. You will experience all these moments when you are in the storm. However, you need to understand that you are in the midst of a battle. And your opponent is too strong. The opponent looks like he came to win. And you have no idea how to face the challenger. However, don’t be scared with how well your opponent is equipped.

Friends during the valley of death /Credit/Liza Summer

Start thinking instead. Find a way to poke holes in the strengths of your opponent. Winning a battle is not just about the resources. Winning a fierce battle is also about how you think and see the enemy. Don’t look at the physical environment of the enemy. Look at the enemy psychologically. The came to prove a point. And to win this battle, you perhaps don’t need to engage the enemy at all. Your valley of death was meant to provoke you. It came to upset you. And throw you out of balance. If you understand the motive of the battle. You change the strategy. Fighting to win is not getting upset when you should be upset. You don’t revenge. Instead, you apply reverse psychology. Let the enemy do everything according to his or her plan. Allow the valley of death to bring out its whole ugly head. Watch how things unfold. And think about your response. Based on what you have seen, what is the best approach? Introduce innovation. The enemy was not expecting that. Disorient the enemy. You will win your battle. The battle is all about outside thinking.

 Don’t Focus on the Problem

Don’t focus on how your boat is about to sink. Don’t focus on the hopelessness of the circumstances around you. Don’t look at the problem. Look at how you are equipped for this kind of problem. Can you tackle it? Can you handle it? Can you endure it? Or are you feeling threatened by it? Think about what is in your arsenal. Focus on how you would like to fight or face the valley. Don’t be consumed by the events in the valley. Of course things are bad. You have already lost so much. And you don’t even want to think about it. Keep your mind on the solution. Find out how you get to the solution. Do you get your solutions by confronting the valley or do you get your solutions by using out-of-textbook approach? Be strategic about your method. Someone wants you to lose. Don’t give in.

If you forget even for just one minute what is at stake, you are going to lose. The valley of death will consume you. All that the adversary had planned will materialize in front of your eyes. Don’t look at the problem. Don’t revenge. Instead, focus on how to get out of the matter. You have options. Don’t choose the easiest. Your investigations could have led you to a likely suspect. Don’t confront the suspect. Let the suspect keep playing. Let the suspect continue thinking that he/she still has some leverage over you. Let your opponent think that he/she has won. That the mission has been accomplished. That you have been defeated. Let the enemy celebrate over your pain. Let the valley think that it buried you at its pit. However, know what the enemy wanted. That knowledge alone is a strong weapon.

Use it to strike the enemy. Go for the best tactic that will not only hit hard but also inform the valley that it can never, ever play with you again. You run your life not the conditions that the valley was forcing on you. No one has your fate at their hands. You are in control. And whoever thinks that he/she can sit somewhere and create circumstances that introduce difficult conditions on you. Better think again. You are the only one who knows how you started your life. You know how you got to the top. You also know how you ended up with all that wealth that the valley was targeting. You did not accumulate it in one day. You worked for it. You labored for it. You envisioned about it. You had a strategy that gave you everything you wanted. And now the enemy is feeling threatened by your success. Don’t be shaken by artificial powers. There is only one person who has the real power. And that person is not the valley of death.