WAIT, DON'T TAKE CONTROL

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

A hard working man trying not to take control / Photo Courtesy / Sanket Mishra

Why Wait?

I love this part of my job. The part where, I just know things. Things that are supposed to help you. And in the spirit of knowing. Today, I address a pertinent subject. The unpopular subject waiting. No one loves waiting. It is hard to wait. Especially, when you have things to do. When you have plans. And you were expecting something different. But instead, you end up in the waiting room. The waiting period is the most frustrating phase of someone’s life. And I know. If there is a time in someone’s life to lose dignity. Then, it is the waiting period. When you are expecting something that is taking too long to happen. You can easily lose your cool. Because there is a lot of frustration and anxiety. In this period, people are normally emotional. And they can easily be triggered by simple things.   

But, calm yourself down. A waiting period is not a losing period. It can be your lowest phase in your entire life. Where you have lost a lot of things. And perhaps, struggling to stop a bleeding business. However, the mere fact that you are facing discomforts here and there. Does not mean you have lost the battle. If you have tried everything you know. But the problem is still glaring at you. Don’t lose hope. Fight to remain standing. The rough season will not kill you. Yes, it is one of the most tiring period. However, you still need to find strength to keep going. Don’t get emotionally involved with people or things. Don’t get frustrated to the point of fighting with everyone and everything. The waiting season has all those temptations. Where you feel like you need to stand up for yourself. But it is really standing up for yourself or just emotions?

Look, who would not be filled with emotions after getting stuck in the same place for a long time? Yet, you could have anticipated a different outcome. When this kind of expectations are not met. People tend to be emotional. This is a time when some can be so loud, while others can be so angry. Because what they wanted to happen has not happened. So the emotions of anger, disrespect, and even being emotionally involved with everything are all valid. Frustration kicks in when someone thinks that he or she is being left behind. That everyone else is making progress. And you are the only one stuck in the same place. Yes, you might have been stuck in the same position for several months. You might have tried everything you know. But your situation is not changing. Instead, it becomes harder.

Get Out of the Way

A committed man waiting / Photo / Miniperde

If that is you right now. There are a few things you need to know. When you have been struggling with a problem for a long time. And you have done your best. Yet, your best does not seem to be enough. There is one thing your situation is telling you. That you are not the right person. Your situation is saying. It is not up to you to fix the problem. You need to get out of the way. And tap on the right person. And surrender everything you find difficult to this person. Actually, the surrendering part is also difficult. Because you want to be in control. And you deem yourself to be a good leader. You know how to solve problems. And you just cannot understand why this matter is taking too long. Your issue has become chronic. And your response measures are not working. Now listen. Your responses are not working.

Understand that. Your best is not working. What this means in plain language is that, you are not what chronic problem needs. The situation has escalated beyond your capabilities. Stop fighting. You need to accept that you might not have what the chronic situation wants. So don’t make your journey more complicated. Identify an ideal person. Someone who is experienced in chronic things. Someone who has fixed such a problem before. Identify that person and express your interest for help. Ask for help from that experienced person. Asking for help might sound embarrassing to some people. But listen to the problem. Look at what your situation is demanding. Extra effort. Yet you don’t have that expertise it is calling for. That is why you need to stop putting yourself in charge. And surrender your difficulty to an experienced person.      

The surrendering part is not easy. The trusting part is also not easy. But you need to develop courage one more time. And trust someone. Believe in the capabilities of the person handling your matter. He or she has your best interests at heart. Have faith in the person. The problem will be fixed. It might take time. However, in the end. A solution will spring forth. Your waiting period will end. The problem will be solved. So don’t get tired while still on the journey. Don’t look at how many people are provoking you on purpose. Because there will be people who will provoke you on purpose when in your difficult period. Don’t focus on these groups of people. They are your distractions. Don’t also look at your tiredness. A waiting season is tiring on its own. Because it requires you to relinquish all power. And trust another person. Not being in charge might be overwhelming.

Don’t Doubt

A Wise man surrendering / Photo Courtesy / Mizuno

However, don’t waste your time, wondering when you will find your solutions. If you trusted the right person. Believe in the capabilities of the person. Don’t doubt the suitability of the person. He or she is the right person. Trust their leadership. Follow their guidance. Keep yourself calm. And ensure you don’t lose the battle in the mind. Because if you do. Everything will collapse. Don’t let that happen. Keep emotions out of the way. Try and be the most objective person. Even when the situation wants you emotional. The most important job that you will ever do during your waiting season is damage control. Ensure a crisis does not happen. Keep distractions away. Emotions, people, anxiety, and temptations to react with everything. Are all distractions. Prevent them from getting you more stuck. You have come thus, far.

Don’t let fear bring you down. The waiting period has its leader. And the sooner you recognize that. The sooner you will stop being in control. It might look like you are losing the battle. It might look like nothing good will ever happen in your life again. Because you have been stuck for too long. But that is not true. Don’t be cheated by circumstances. Just because it has taken so long does not mean a solution will not be found. Good things will still happen.

If you linger long enough. If you remain objective long enough. The leader of the crisis will calm the storms. The chronic situation will end. And you will arrive. The time that you thought was being wasted being stuck. Will begin to account for itself. Then, you will start making sense of why you were stuck. Everything happens for a reason. You need to find your reason. If you fight so well. All the explanation will be at the end of the tunnel. You only need to find strength to finish strong.