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ARE THEY REALLY NOTHING?

  GOAL SETTING A college loving kid proving that he is not Nothing /Photo Courtesy /Tara Winstead Nothing? There comes a time in life when a kid has to grow up. And start making decisions. Life changing decisions for that matter. Decisions such as, going to college. And preparing for life’s biggest responsibilities. During this critical time. Parents are usually on the edge of their seats. They are on the edge because they are afraid of hearing some things. Kids have graduated high school and some have received invitations to some of the best colleges in the country. Parents in most occasions, want to keep the college conversation going. They want to talk about their kids’ college choices with their friends and neighbors. College conversation is a good conversation. Because most parents think that going to college is a window of opportunities. And to some extent it is, especially for those students who want to go to college. Kids that have already visualized the kind of professio...

HABITS TO STOP BEING HEARTLESS

 BUILDING BETTER HABITS

                                                                                
STOP BEING HEARTLESS
A fun-loving woman seats on a high roller seat at the beach/Credit/Jan Van der Wolf

I don’t know if you have noticed an emerging trend in our modern society. The trend of heartlessness. The number of people who are hurting other people and looking the other way, is gradually increasing in our society. Some people are behaving as if, they are no longer normal human beings. They pretend to have lost touch with their emotions. So, they feel nothing when they hurt others. They have regularized sadism. And while at it, they see nothing wrong. Their interests must prevail at the expense of others. This is sad. It is even worse when this bad behavior finds its way among young people or children. What happened to our values? When did we forget human dignity? Human life is sacred. Life is sacred based on a simple principle. If, you don’t give life, don’t take life. There is no need, which is too important to warrant pain.

That the only way to achieve your need is through infliction of pain. Come on, you need to start thinking. Stop being a narcissist. Stop seeing things from your point of view. We live in a big world. This big world has other people who are not you. These other people, also have needs. And when they want to meet their needs, they do not act malicious. They find better ways to solve their problems. They do not destroy a good thing in front of them. They do not control. They do not isolate. And they do not make other people miserable. Instead, well intention people collaborate. If, you are missing a skill set, do not manipulate to access the missing skill set from another person. Be genuine. Be honest. Make your intentions clear. Accept your weaknesses and find best ways to strengthen your them. You can choose to learn from the best or collaborate with the best. But you cannot hurt to access the skill.

You’re Not Smarter

You are not smarter than everyone else. Nobody and I mean nobody gets away with anything. You will not fool everyone all the time. So, don’t celebrate that you got what you wanted through dubious means. You caused an unrelenting pain and walked away. You hurt people and left without an apology. You wanted something and your best way to it was by being heartless. You steal ideas and sideline the person who initially owned the idea. And you don’t care that you are hurting this person’s feelings by taking what is not yours from him/her. And don’t even pretend that you are feeling nothing. Normal human beings have feelings and emotions. Feelings of fear, love, guilt, pain, and even shame. So, don’t pretend. When you hurt other people, you know what you are doing. You can think of yourself as the best trained narcissist. However, the truth will come out sooner than you thought.

Everyone will know who you are sooner. You are not as smart as you thought. You will crack. And when that happen, you will wonder why you were a sadist in the first place. Crime is crime. And all crimes will be punished. No matter how long it takes to be punished. You could be rejoicing now. But your day of reckoning is coming. Do not shed that blood. Don’t cause that pain. Stop being heartless. Start thinking about other people. Other people are equal opportunity members of this society. They deserve better just as you deserve better. Other people too, have a right to their ambitions. Let them dream and become. Let them flourish. Allow them to grow. So, stop being heartless. Stop shelving your emotions and acting like you don’t have them. We all experience emotions. Therefore, when you do something wrong, you know you are committing a mistake.

Stop being a narcissist

Narcissism has never made anyone better in the history of its existence. Instead, it makes people selfish. It makes them stop acting normal and turns them into something else. Narcissism trains you to be this hollow human being. Someone that only cares about what matters to him/her. Someone that wants everything for him/herself. So, you slowly start becoming a different person. A person that uses all means to get what satisfies him/her. Your actions begin to become extreme. You start making people around you uncomfortable. You start stepping on their toes and looking the other way. You begin to hurt them. And see nothing wrong with that act of looking away. As long as, your needs are met, you do not care about others. You stop being accountable to others. You stop being accountable to your own actions.

You are not a child. You are not unconscious. Wake up. You don’t want to be this person. A person that is not accountable. You don’t want to be this heartless person. You do not want to be irresponsible. Start acting like someone with common sense. Stop letting circumstances around you to influence your behavior. The mere fact that we live in an ultra-competitive world does not necessarily mean that you become ruthless. That you stop caring about other people. That you become deeply invested in your interests. To an extent that you commit crimes. Narcissism will not get you anywhere. Instead, what it will do best for you, is build emotions. The people you hurt will remember that you hurt them. All the toes that you will stepped on and walked away, will recall the pain. These emotions will come back to you. And you will pay for your actions. Think about your behavior today and consider changing.

Be honest

If, there are hidden elements, which are driving your soul crazy, recognize those elements. Name the things that are making you a bad person. The things that are making you act toxic towards others. Identify them and start dealing with them. Come to terms with your short comings and find the right solutions. Stop hiding behind heartlessness. Seek help. Talk about your struggles. Do not allow other forces to make you what you are not. Further, do not allow circumstances to tell you that you will win by being a sadist. You will not win. People will get enough of your games and return the same favor. Confront your problems. Acknowledge things that make you toxic. Get the toxicity out of your soul. Don’t use your frustrations to hurt other people. Confront them yourself and admit that you need help. Be honest.

The things that are pushing you to become someone else need to be examined. Do not accept to be misled. The mere fact that heartlessness is an emerging trend in the modern society does not give you permission to be one. There is nothing good about being heartless. Don’t sell your soul to the devil. Stop being heartless. Be conscious. Live in the moment. Apologize when you do wrong. Accept your weaknesses. Reduce the attention you give to your interests. Think about other people. Think about the big society. Think about the world. Life does not revolve around you. And when things don’t go your way, don’t react with your emotions. Instead, take time and think about it before choosing an action. Audit your actions. Stop inflicting pain. If, you don’t want pain on you, don’t cause it to others. Be responsible. Choose maturity. Choose progress. Choose common sense. Choose level-headedness.                    

 

        



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