BUILDING BETTER HABITS
A fun-loving woman seats on a high roller seat at the beach/Credit/Jan Van der Wolf
I
don’t know if you have noticed an emerging trend in our modern society. The trend
of heartlessness. The number of people who are hurting other people and looking
the other way, is gradually increasing in our society. Some people are behaving
as if, they are no longer normal human beings. They pretend to have lost touch
with their emotions. So, they feel nothing when they hurt others. They have regularized
sadism. And while at it, they see nothing wrong. Their interests must prevail at
the expense of others. This is sad. It is even worse when this bad behavior
finds its way among young people or children. What happened to our values? When
did we forget human dignity? Human life is sacred. Life is sacred based on a
simple principle. If, you don’t give life, don’t take life. There is no need,
which is too important to warrant pain.
That
the only way to achieve your need is through infliction of pain. Come on, you
need to start thinking. Stop being a narcissist. Stop seeing things from your
point of view. We live in a big world. This big world has other people who are
not you. These other people, also have needs. And when they want to meet their
needs, they do not act malicious. They find better ways to solve their
problems. They do not destroy a good thing in front of them. They do not
control. They do not isolate. And they do not make other people miserable. Instead,
well intention people collaborate. If, you are missing a skill set, do not
manipulate to access the missing skill set from another person. Be genuine. Be honest.
Make your intentions clear. Accept your weaknesses and find best ways to
strengthen your them. You can choose to learn from the best or collaborate with
the best. But you cannot hurt to access the skill.
You’re Not
Smarter
You
are not smarter than everyone else. Nobody and I mean nobody gets away with
anything. You will not fool everyone all the time. So, don’t celebrate that you
got what you wanted through dubious means. You caused an unrelenting pain and
walked away. You hurt people and left without an apology. You wanted something
and your best way to it was by being heartless. You steal ideas and sideline
the person who initially owned the idea. And you don’t care that you are hurting
this person’s feelings by taking what is not yours from him/her. And don’t even
pretend that you are feeling nothing. Normal human beings have feelings and
emotions. Feelings of fear, love, guilt, pain, and even shame. So, don’t pretend.
When you hurt other people, you know what you are doing. You can think of
yourself as the best trained narcissist. However, the truth will come out
sooner than you thought.
Everyone
will know who you are sooner. You are not as smart as you thought. You will
crack. And when that happen, you will wonder why you were a sadist in the first
place. Crime is crime. And all crimes will be punished. No matter how long it
takes to be punished. You could be rejoicing now. But your day of reckoning is
coming. Do not shed that blood. Don’t cause that pain. Stop being heartless. Start
thinking about other people. Other people are equal opportunity members of this
society. They deserve better just as you deserve better. Other people too, have
a right to their ambitions. Let them dream and become. Let them flourish. Allow
them to grow. So, stop being heartless. Stop shelving your emotions and acting
like you don’t have them. We all experience emotions. Therefore, when you do
something wrong, you know you are committing a mistake.
Stop being
a narcissist
Narcissism
has never made anyone better in the history of its existence. Instead, it makes
people selfish. It makes them stop acting normal and turns them into something
else. Narcissism trains you to be this hollow human being. Someone that only
cares about what matters to him/her. Someone that wants everything for him/herself.
So, you slowly start becoming a different person. A person that uses all means
to get what satisfies him/her. Your actions begin to become extreme. You start
making people around you uncomfortable. You start stepping on their toes and
looking the other way. You begin to hurt them. And see nothing wrong with that
act of looking away. As long as, your needs are met, you do not care about
others. You stop being accountable to others. You stop being accountable to your
own actions.
You
are not a child. You are not unconscious. Wake up. You don’t want to be this person.
A person that is not accountable. You don’t want to be this heartless person. You
do not want to be irresponsible. Start acting like someone with common sense. Stop
letting circumstances around you to influence your behavior. The mere fact that
we live in an ultra-competitive world does not necessarily mean that you become
ruthless. That you stop caring about other people. That you become deeply
invested in your interests. To an extent that you commit crimes. Narcissism will
not get you anywhere. Instead, what it will do best for you, is build emotions.
The people you hurt will remember that you hurt them. All the toes that you
will stepped on and walked away, will recall the pain. These emotions will come
back to you. And you will pay for your actions. Think about your behavior today
and consider changing.
Be honest
If,
there are hidden elements, which are driving your soul crazy, recognize those
elements. Name the things that are making you a bad person. The things that are
making you act toxic towards others. Identify them and start dealing with them.
Come to terms with your short comings and find the right solutions. Stop hiding
behind heartlessness. Seek help. Talk about your struggles. Do not allow other
forces to make you what you are not. Further, do not allow circumstances to
tell you that you will win by being a sadist. You will not win. People will get
enough of your games and return the same favor. Confront your problems. Acknowledge
things that make you toxic. Get the toxicity out of your soul. Don’t use your
frustrations to hurt other people. Confront them yourself and admit that you
need help. Be honest.
The
things that are pushing you to become someone else need to be examined. Do not
accept to be misled. The mere fact that heartlessness is an emerging trend in
the modern society does not give you permission to be one. There is nothing
good about being heartless. Don’t sell your soul to the devil. Stop being
heartless. Be conscious. Live in the moment. Apologize when you do wrong. Accept
your weaknesses. Reduce the attention you give to your interests. Think about
other people. Think about the big society. Think about the world. Life does not
revolve around you. And when things don’t go your way, don’t react with your
emotions. Instead, take time and think about it before choosing an action. Audit
your actions. Stop inflicting pain. If, you don’t want pain on you, don’t cause
it to others. Be responsible. Choose maturity. Choose progress. Choose common
sense. Choose level-headedness.
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