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ARE THEY REALLY NOTHING?

  GOAL SETTING A college loving kid proving that he is not Nothing /Photo Courtesy /Tara Winstead Nothing? There comes a time in life when a kid has to grow up. And start making decisions. Life changing decisions for that matter. Decisions such as, going to college. And preparing for life’s biggest responsibilities. During this critical time. Parents are usually on the edge of their seats. They are on the edge because they are afraid of hearing some things. Kids have graduated high school and some have received invitations to some of the best colleges in the country. Parents in most occasions, want to keep the college conversation going. They want to talk about their kids’ college choices with their friends and neighbors. College conversation is a good conversation. Because most parents think that going to college is a window of opportunities. And to some extent it is, especially for those students who want to go to college. Kids that have already visualized the kind of professio...

SHIFT YOUR FOCUS

 

CULTIVATING GROWTH MINDSET

SHIFT YOUR FOCUS
A highly determined man is focused on his work Credit/Ariel Castillo

Don’t Engage

There are many things that could be standing in your way. Things that you can easily describe as stumbling blocks. The things that are standing in your way have a goal. The person or people bringing games in your court know what they are doing. The person does not just want to upset you. The person wants you to fall so hard that he or she would justify something. The motives that drove that individual to bring dangerous games at you were evil intentions. The individual wanted you to get disoriented. People trying you wanted to knock you out of proportion. Motivated by their ill-projected views and perspectives, the persons wanted you stuck. The things they were doing behind your back were meant to stagnate you. And even in worse circumstances, claim your life altogether. The things standing in your way are not good things.   

The person wants you to lose. The obstacles want you defeated. The enemy wants you to give up. The person or persons want to frustrate you. The person testing your patient wants you to lose your honor. But you are not going to give in. You are not going to engage.  And you are not going to fall either. Instead, you will remain yourself and fight for your stability. In your weakest moment. You are going to find some strength. You are going to find stamina to keep standing. When those fighting you plot your downfall. You are also going to shift your attention. You will not spend your energy fighting those who fight you. Focus your energy on something else. Focus on how to recover from the battle. Don’t complain about the attack. Instead, use that time to reflect on the person that is you.

Knowing your advantages more important than fighting back. Placing the focus on you the person and what restrains you is much better than running after your adversaries. Your enemies have a mission they must fulfil. And it is up to you to determine whether their mission wins or loses. Your behavior during your most vulnerable moment matters. When someone dedicatedly seeks your downfall. And when that person targets what he or she thinks is your anchor. How do you react? For sure the individual is bringing a fierce battle. If the person can go after what define you and seek to destroy that foundation, he or she is aimed at absolute destruction. And as a normal human being, you would want to know why the individual thinks he/she can attack you and get away with it. You would want to say something or do something.

Malicious Motives

SHIFT YOUR FOCUS
A business woman focused on her business Credit/Tima Miroshnichenko

But is it time to say something? The detractor knows what he is doing. He/she is forcing detours on you on purpose. The person is looking to prove a point. You cannot be the one succeeding when he is struggling. You cannot be merrymaking when he/she cannot do the same. The individual is trying to stop you from living your normal life. The person is forcing circumstances that he/she is perhaps used to unto you. The attack is motivated by malicious motives. Perhaps, envy or jealousy. Overall, someone is not happy. And since this person is not happy. You cannot be happy either. The individual is getting to you using dubious means. You were monitored. And the person thinks that you were not looking. So you must learn the hard way. You will not know or have your normal life. You will get punished for being yourself.

The objective of the attack is to prove a point. The envious person is trying to tell you that while in the same environment, you cannot rise to a certain level. You cannot run smooth operations. You cannot develop your character. You cannot work on your integrity. You can’t be meticulous. The envious person wants you reckless and defeated. But you are not him or her. You are your own person. Someone that has his or her own standards. You have worked on yourself and found peace with so many things. Your focus is on something else. You have your own priorities. Things that matter to you. And you are deeply interested in making your priorities succeed. In fact, all you have been doing is getting focused on what matters. You did not get in the way of your supposed foe. You did not even know that you have an enemy.

Despite you not provoking anyone. The enemy still came. The challenger did not come with good intentions. The antagonist came with a whole objective of destruction. And he is very intentional about it. The person has equipped him/herself to damage everything associated with you. Traps were laid when you were not there. The enemy did his/her work when he thought you were not looking. The person thinks that he is shrewd. He moved ahead of you. And after doing all that serious work. You must fall in the trap. The enemy is watching enthusiastically. The work was already done. Now results are needed. You have surely noted unusual occurrences in your life. You have been wondering what went wrong. You were determined to succeed this year. But your efforts are so far fruitless.

Understand the Dichotomy

 

SHIFT YOUR FOCUS
A beautiful woman thinking of her focus Credit/Kaboompics.com
And you are upset about it. This is not what you anticipated. Your mind was looking at a very different reality. You had projected yourself to grow in every aspect of your life. But several months later, none of that is happening. At this moment, you have retraced all your movements. You were supposed to be on track. However, something is dragging you down. You just can’t make progress. You have tried everything you know. You have been in a crisis before. And you solved it effectively. However, this time you are struggling. Nothing is working. Your most important operations are falling apart. And you know this is not normal. This is not how you live or operate. Something must really be wrong somewhere. Your attacker did something. And now you can’t have a normal life.

When you learn that something is wrong somewhere. Ask for some level of wisdom. You don’t argue with a donkey. A donkey is only interested in winning an argument and proving a point. The donkey wants to be proved right. And in this case, the truth does not matter. It was your success that the enemy targeted. And now that the enemy managed to disrupt some of it. He wants to know how you will go about your everyday operations. Because he destroyed your most important thing. And the person thinks he caught you. But be wise about this battle.  Shift your focus. Be the bigger person in the room. Don’t engage the enemy. Instead, seal the loose ends the enemy harnessed. Fill those gaps. Reflect on your whole life. and ask yourself these important questions.

How did the enemy access reach? What were you doing? Were there open opportunities that the enemy used? How do you proceed from here? How do you recover? What steps should you follow that will restore everything you have lost? Finding answers to these questions is more important than revenge. When you withdraw from a fight. It does not mean that you are acting in ignorance. When you withdraw from a fight it means you are wise. Not every fight is worth your time. Aim to understand the motive instead. Understand the enemy. Why did the enemy use dubious means? Why did he attack at night? If, the envious person wanted to destroy you so bad, he could have easily shot you in the day. But the enemy chose to hide. Why did the enemy hide? Get to the bottom of the dichotomy of the battle. Understand it. And choose your approach. Decide how you fight such a battle. Do you fight it yourself or you invite someone else? The discipline of restraint is not easy. However, knowing the underlying factors that led to the battle will guide you to the right approach. Shift your focus from the enemy and look at the bigger picture. You have a future. Your response today determines how you face your future battles. 



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