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  GOAL SETTING A college loving kid proving that he is not Nothing /Photo Courtesy /Tara Winstead Nothing? There comes a time in life when a kid has to grow up. And start making decisions. Life changing decisions for that matter. Decisions such as, going to college. And preparing for life’s biggest responsibilities. During this critical time. Parents are usually on the edge of their seats. They are on the edge because they are afraid of hearing some things. Kids have graduated high school and some have received invitations to some of the best colleges in the country. Parents in most occasions, want to keep the college conversation going. They want to talk about their kids’ college choices with their friends and neighbors. College conversation is a good conversation. Because most parents think that going to college is a window of opportunities. And to some extent it is, especially for those students who want to go to college. Kids that have already visualized the kind of professio...

THIS IS HOW YOU BECOME A BETTER PERSON

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 

BETTER PERSON
A man enjoying a beautiful beach scenery as he contemplates on becoming a better person Photo; Lukas Rychvasky

Summary

Ø Being or becoming a good person traces its roots in emotional intelligence.

Ø The moral development and moral behavior branches in emotional intelligence framework best describes the desire of becoming a good person.

Ø Emotions play a significant role in the overall good a person becomes

The best place to begin your journey of becoming a better person is best served in emotional intelligence context. In this context, your moral judgment, behaviors, and development are further explored. Using the framework, you learn the best ways to manage your emotions by interpreting them correctly. Managing your emotions helps you to think better and develop some kind of awareness that keeps you sane. In this post, you will learn five ways to become a better person. 

 Become More Honest

For me, there is no better place to begin the journey of being a good person than honesty. Honesty is a cornerstone to transformation because it sets you free. If, you honestly talk about your feelings and everything that is going on inside. You heal yourself. You become relieved of something. A certain weight that you have been carrying around vanishes. When you open up and talk freely about yourself, your values, and your every day practices. You feel better. Your mood changes. You become lighter and sublime. As such, if you are looking to become a better person, begin here. Begin by being honest with yourself. Walk through your life and examine every area. Locate areas where you see less authenticity. Measure overall authenticity in your life.

If, you learn that your life is not authentic. You can begin your change from here. Focus on becoming more authentic. Focus on living a life that is you. Doing things that you want to do. And living a life that you feel you should live compared to picking pieces of other people’s ways of doing things and thinking into your life. Work towards reducing elements that are not you. Eliminate other people’s ways of doing things from your life. And in its place, incorporate your own values. Practice more what you feel defines you. The aim of becoming more honest is to find yourself. To live a life that you find satisfaction and joy in. Becoming more honest will help you arrive at a clear path in your life. It will help you discover who you are and start living authentically. If, in the past you have leaned towards being politically correct. In your desire to become a better person. Don’t worry about fitting in and being the wisest person in the room.

Instead, be yourself. Do what make you feel good. Practice that which frees you from numerous entanglements. Don’t focus on fulfilling any stereotypes. Don’t meet any stereotype-oriented standards. Just take away all that you don’t agree with. And focus on what you think, best describes you and how you want to live your life. You don’t have to greet everyone you see to pass as good. Greet everyone if, that is what you want to do or who you are. You love talking to people and knowing how they are doing. If greetings come from inside, and you genuinely care about other people. Then do it. However, don’t go to that extra length because society said so. Shade off things that don’t make you authentic. Eliminate everything that makes you uncomfortable. Be honest with yourself. No one knows you better than yourself. Prune yourself and create room for more authenticity.

BETTER PERSON
A dedicated woman working to become better. Photo/Cottonbro Studio

Work on Your Emotions

Emotions play a significant role in how good a person becomes. This is where emotional intelligence skills come into play. You need to regulate your emotions properly. You need to work on your strong emotions. Emotions of anger, resentment, and even love. These emotions drive people to extreme lengths. When anger goes uncontrolled for example, it makes you a not-so-nice person. Because you can take to lashing out as a coping mechanism. That is not good at all, especially to your reputation. And the kind of person you become when anger dominates you. Anger makes you a bad person. You can easily hurt other people. You can easily speak abominable words to other people. That is not good for an adult. Kids can get away with it because they don’t know better. They can find an excuse in being young and foolish. But you. You cannot afford such carelessness.

Adults on the other hand, making such a choice is tantamount to disaster. Lashing out depicts you as not emotionally mature. You haven’t learned how to effectively manage and regulate your emotions. You cannot be a good leader when you suffer from anger problem. You don’t lead effectively because you don’t know how to regulate the emotions of other people. You don’t correctly know tell how other people are feeling. Because you have blind spots. You don’t know how to handle your own emotions. When you find yourself with cases of outbursts and strong words when you are angry. You have work to do. You need to work on your emotions. It is not easy to get rid of this habit. However, if the goal is to become a better person. You must commit to your own change.

 

An excited young man on the thought of becoming a better person
  
You need to admit to yourself that you have a problem. That you have anger problem and you need solutions. If you cannot do it on your own, work with a therapist. If you cannot find a therapist. Speak with your best friend. Your best friend knows when you get triggered. He or she can help you avoid the triggers. But most important, be aware of the problem yourself. Understand the strong emotion that affects you. Revenge, resentment, prejudice, and envy. Understand all of them. Be aware of their extremes. And don’t allow yourself to be carried away. Regulate yourself. Find ways to get rid of any bad feelings from your soul. If you have too much time on your hand. Find constructive ways to spend it. Stop idling. Idleness can stimulate you to develop some of these bad strong emotions.

Increase Your Compassion

There are a lot of needs out there. There are a lot of people who need help. Learn about them and see what you can do. But overall, increase your compassion. Help out as much as, you can. Respond to problems with effective solutions. Volunteer your time to help in your community. Identify a need that speaks to you and commit to doing something. Find the best way to meet the need. Work with people who are interested in the same area. Volunteer your time to research, innovate, or discover a sustainable solution. Being compassionate will make you feel good. In fact, research shows that people who care for other people feel better. You will feel better by genuinely going out of your way to help. Increasing your compassion will help you see what you previously didn’t see.

You will learn to appreciate your life more. You will live with purpose when you discover that some people struggle with things you don’t find as problems. Things that come easily to you. Yet, they look like privileges to other people. When you understand the differences among people. You learn to respect. You respect life. You respect yourself. You stop being careless. You tone down yourself. You learn appreciation. Your perspective on life and people changes. Helping other people is a transformative cause. It humbles you. It makes you think. It is a sobering moment. Your life does not remain the same. You complain less. You judge less. You learn empathy. Because some cases are really bad. You can’t believe how those people survive. Yet, they wake up every day and hope to have a good day. Be compassionate. Your life will change. You will become a better person.

Reduce Your Mistakes

There is no becoming better, if mistakes are involved. You must commit to becoming better. And that means changing things that make you look bad. Reduce the rate of mistakes in your life. Reduce these mistakes from all aspects of your life. Examine your personal and professional life. Think about the worst mistakes you have ever committed. Mistakes that made you feel embarrassed. Mistakes that made you know that you have failed, not only yourself but also other people. Remember these moments. And be determined to change. Agree that mistakes will never happen again under your watch. You will not entertain thoughts and habits that contributed to these embarrassing situations. You will commit to total change. You must commit to turning around your life. Stop carelessness. Listen more carefully. Be fully present in your engagements.

Don’t perform an important task while your mind is miles away. Gather yourself together. Be present in activities that require your maximum attention. Stop pleasing. You don’t have to prove any point. You are already alive. You don’t need to pull any moves. For status or prestige. Don’t make these mistakes. Engage your common sense every day. Correct things that need to be corrected. Improve yourself every day. Be aware of areas that need improvement. If, a mistake must happen under your watch. Let happen because it was camouflaged. It escaped your eye. Don’t normalize giving excuses. Don’t justify mistakes. Mistakes are mistakes. Don’t justify them. Instead, find a way to correct them. Reduce mistakes in your life. This is the best way to become a better person. It shows that you are committed to change. And you are willing to work for the desired change.   

Learn More About the World

Learn more about the world. Expand your horizon. Develop multiple ways of seeing the same thing. Learn about what is happening in the world. Learn about other people. Learn about other countries. Get in touch with various realities unfolding around the world. You will learn so many things. You will understand that the world is not equal. That a lot of suffering takes place in the world. Don’t confuse the peace you experience in your own life or country with the world being peaceful. People elsewhere might not be enjoying immense peace as you do. So don’t use your circumstances to summarize the world. There is so much that you don’t see and feel. But other people see and feel. Expanding your horizon will teach you appreciation. You will learn to count your blessings. You will learn to find joy where you are and with what you have.

Don’t live your life in a single-sided fashion. Develop multiple angles. See things from different lanes. Don’t mistakenly apply your values to other people. Don’t develop hatred towards other people based a single version of the story. Don’t harm people based on a third-party recount. Before the third-party, there is the first-party. Take the version of the first party too. Learn about the world. Expand your perspectives. Understand people. Understand society. The mere fact that stereotypes asked you to do something does not mean it is right. Be your own person. Seek your own self-determination. Free yourself from certain things. Learn new things. You will become better. The more you will undo what is not needed in you, the more you will create room to embrace new knowledge that empowers you.

Becoming a better person does not just happen. You have to work for it. You have to seek it. It does not matter how far you have traveled. You can still become a better person. You can still change. You can still fix your sticky issues. No one is too far gone. As long as, you are willing to press pause. You can become a better person. You can contribute meaningfully to your community and life. You just need to be aware of what you don’t want to become. You need to be aware that you need change. You need to recognize things that need to change around you. And actualize that change by doing activities that make you better. Start becoming more honest. Work on your emotions. Increase your compassion. Reduce your mistakes Expand your horizon. Learn what makes people better. And commit to the process until you become a better person.                                     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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