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  GOAL SETTING A college loving kid proving that he is not Nothing /Photo Courtesy /Tara Winstead Nothing? There comes a time in life when a kid has to grow up. And start making decisions. Life changing decisions for that matter. Decisions such as, going to college. And preparing for life’s biggest responsibilities. During this critical time. Parents are usually on the edge of their seats. They are on the edge because they are afraid of hearing some things. Kids have graduated high school and some have received invitations to some of the best colleges in the country. Parents in most occasions, want to keep the college conversation going. They want to talk about their kids’ college choices with their friends and neighbors. College conversation is a good conversation. Because most parents think that going to college is a window of opportunities. And to some extent it is, especially for those students who want to go to college. Kids that have already visualized the kind of professio...

3 WAYS FOR TEENAGERS TO AVOID RISKS

 

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Avoid Risks
A teenager thinking about ways to avoid risks/Credit/Nappy

Teenagers are barely out of their childhood. But most of them think that they are grown-ups. So, they try out a lot of thinks including challenging their parents. The mere fact that they can think a little bit, makes many teenagers think that they have earned their right to challenge, talk over, or disregard their caretakers.  Teens think that they can walk around and do all forms of mess and get away with it.  That is at least, what their new found ego tells them. And it makes most of them to believe that they are independent thinkers. That they have become their own persons. However, with that rebellious attitude, most teenagers fail to understand that they are not ready. And that the flower was only budding and it hasn't blossomed yet. And as it stands, we don't know the type of flower it will become. The mere fact that a child has grown up and is now a teenage does not mean that the child is really grown up. There is a whole thinking process ahead, which comes across as a heavy responsibility. The responsibility of being a good thinker is still a heavy burden for teenagers to lift. At the surface of the teenage mind, this huge responsibility is hidden. And that makes teenagers think that they are ready. The lack of readiness is often times, depicted in the quality of decisions made and activities engaged into and associations kept. Some teenagers end up spending time in wrong activities that are not age-appropriate. Activities such as, being at the center of controversies and scandals. Controversies and dramas that belong to other people.

And when they engage in these adult matters. They never think of the consequences. They never think of the risks that they are likely to face as a result of being in the wrong place with wrong company. As a teenager, your first priority in life is not to participate in things that are beyond your age. Things that are adult-oriented. such as, heated arguments whose basis you don't know. These things are not your business. These ugly scenes might look attractive on the surface. However, in reality they are decorated risks. And your teenage brain cannot easily distinguish between danger and rational. Because in most occasions, you think that those people who advice you against some things don't know what they are talking about. And that you can handle some things. Don't get confused at this young age. The world is not your average friend. You are better of minding your business such as, prioritizing yourself and what matters to you. And trying to understand the kind of person you are or supposed to become. How about you focus on identifying your strengths and abilities? Learning about your interests and who you would like to become. Learn about your environment. Understand society in general. This way, you might stay out of danger and perhaps,  avoid some risks.

Remain A Teenager/Child

The mere fact that you are growing up does not mean that you are an adult. You need to understand this fact as early as, now. We know you are growing up. But you are not there yet. You are not ready for the world. You are still a child. You are still under the care of your parents/guardians. Someone is still responsible for you. You need to contextualize this reality and allow it to shape you. The mere fact that you have your voice and mind, does not mean you become rebellious. It does not mean you join conversations and groups that pose risks to you as an individual. You need to focus on you. You need to remember that you are a child. And as a child, you have limits. Limits such as, not getting involved in adult stuff. If, something is ensuing around your environment. Something that is not good. Something that is criminal. Something that is evil. Something that is intended for harm. You have no business getting involved. Even if, everyone around you is involved.       

You are better off remaining a child. You are better off staying as far away from the controversy as possible. The persons that started the drama know the underlying causes of the drama. But you don't know. Stop taking sides. Instead, walk away from such scenes.  They are as filthy as they are ugly. You cannot be involved with neighborhood issues.  Neighborhood problems have their owners. And you are not one of those owners. Quit getting interested. These types of problems have a long history. A history that you don’t understand. The people involved know what they are arguing about. And you have nothing to do with their fights. You have nothing to do with the gossips, rumors, and all types of nonsenses that take place in your community. However, you cannot abdicate your role of being responsible for yourself. This is your business. And you better take it seriously. 

You need to account for your decisions. You need to determine the kind of person you want to become or the person you are becoming. Of course you see a lot of things take place in your environment. You hear a lot of things. You see a lot of people. People doing different things. It is normal to hear and see things. However, what is not normal is for you as a teenager developing the tendency of entertaining things that do not help you. You benefit nothing by knowing everything that goes on in your neighborhood. If you haven’t studied society and people, the gossip that you have will not benefit you. Instead, gossip will harm you. It will make you toxic. You will begin to develop attitudes that don't help you. You will start hating people you don’t know. And that is absurd. You cannot launch yourself like that. By allowing defiance to trick you into believing that you are ready. Be the child. And learn about your stage and the crisis that comes with that stage. You are not ready. So stop acting like you are ready.

Know Your Boundaries

You want to assert yourself. You want other people to know that you exist. You want to share your opinions. You want to be heard. You want to belong. All these desires are genuine. However, in what context do you want to assert yourself? By arguing and fighting with other people? By engaging in senseless conversations? By following the crowd? You have to know your boundaries. You have to know who you are. You need to know when to assert yourself. When to share your opinion. And where you belong. You cannot allow yourself to be everywhere and anywhere at the same time. You must create boundaries. Know what is good for you and what is not good for you. You must have some level of restraint. There are a lot of risks out there. Risks that are camouflaged or designed designed for you.     Don't get trapped at this point in life. 

You need to be careful all the time. Not everyone that is laughing with you is just laughing. Some people are not just interested in you as the person. Some people could be exploiting your ignorance. You are just a teenager who might not be seeing the whole picture. For you it could be a good place to talk and laugh. An available group that has some kind of values you share. And that makes you comfortable. You feel free engaging with the group. You become relaxed and speak your mind. But these people are not your friends. This group is not age appropriate. The group is made up of adults  who have their own lives. They love doing some things. Things like smoking. And you are in the middle of their lives. And you don't have your own life. You are still under the care of someone else. You are not safe belonging in a group that is way older than you. Those are adults. They might be friendly to you. And they might have welcomed you. But you have no business walking and talking among them. You are a child and they are adults. Know your boundaries.

There is nothing wrong with making small talks with your neighbors and peers. But there is something wrong when you become comfortable in the wrong group. The conversations between adults is quite different from conversations between children. You are not on the same level. And you should know that. You should know where you belong. You belong in groups, which are mostly teenagers or slightly young adults. Groups that have the right things for you. Groups that have the right conversations. Groups that are a little bit disciplined. People that have some kind of restraint. People that have some level of respect. People that you can learn from. Groups that can empower you. People that can help you see what you might become if you focus on your education. Groups that show you the possibilities of life. People that inspire you. People that make you a better person. Know your boundaries.

Apply Common Sense

We are trying to avoid risks here. You need to apply your common sense. Of course you want to belong and find something that works for you. But you need to understand that there are a lot of shiny objects. There are a lot of friendships that are disguised. Especially if, you keep up with wrong groups or conversations. If you keep entering dangerous zones and feeling comfortable in the wrong places, your life will be ruined. You will attract risks that will destroy your life. You will embrace practices that do not benefit you. You will become a toxic person at a very early age. You will become prejudiced because you are using other people’s lens to see things. You need to use your common sense and remain you. You need to allow yourself to grow and become your own person. You need to end up with your own thoughts and perspectives.

You need to stop blurring the lines by allowing yourself to get corrupted. Your mind can trick you to think that you are grown up. But you are not an adult. You are a teenager and you need to know an important fact. Teenagers do not have the reasoning brain. Your reasoning brain is still developing. Your brain is still developing and you have a long way to go. So don’t be cheated to think that you are a critical decision maker.  You can definitely make decisions to some extent. However, there are some decisions you cannot make. Some things are too complex. It is very difficult to understand people if, you don’t have the right knowledge. As a teenager, you don't have this capability. Give yourself some time to accrue wisdom. Some people love exploiting. They exploit your ignorance. And you will not know when they are exploiting. So think about the consequences always.  

Suggestions are just suggestions. It is not common for teenagers to think through issues. And risks are hidden. They only show up when you have travelled so far. You don’t want to be that kind of teenager. Someone that is accessible. You cannot enter the world like that. You cannot be a conduit that people use for their own ends. You got to apply your common sense. You need to learn the importance of restraint and self discipline. You need to learn about decisions you cannot make. For example, you cannot decide for adults. So, stop pointing strangers to other people’s houses. In your mind you could be helping. However, in reality you are creating security risks for other people. You cannot make these types of decisions. Stay out of it. Stay out of things that do not concern you. Stop joining wild groups just for vibes. Stop spreading rumors about people you don’t know. Stop entering conversations that are beyond your age. Stop engaging with people who are plotting to harm other people. Stop conspiring about other people. Stop filling your mind with trash. Instead, use that time to find yourself.                            




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