BUILDING BETTER HABITS
A frustrated young man expresses his tiredness with witch-hunting/credit/Andrea Piacquadio
Speak Your
Mind
If you have a problem
with other people, speak your mind. There is so much freedom in modern world.
And speaking your mind is one of your Constitutional rights in most democratic
societies. Instead, of witch-hunting, just speak your mind. There is something
bothering you about other people. Something that you do not approve or don’t like.
And the people you have a problem with are around. They are within reach. Instead
of developing an attitude towards people, talk to them. If, you have genuine
concerns about their behavior or values, say it. Speak it out in their face. Say
whatever is bothering you when everyone is around. Speak your mind so that
other people understand you. Seek to be understood. Stop hiding behind shadowy
activities. Activities intended at people who have no business with you.
If, you think your
concerns are worth consideration, the best way to bring up those concerns is to
speak up your mind. You know the people that you have a problem with. You know
where they live. Find time and pay them a visit. Tell them that you don’t like
how they talk or behave. Say the thing that you don’t like about them. The thing
that is making you have a problem with them. Speak clearly so that other people
can understand you. Speak out so that people can understand what to do, to
avoid irritating you. Stop harboring emotions. Stop witch-hunting. End witch-hunting
other people. The mere fact that you have chosen to witch-hunt means that you
are afraid of something. You are not sure about your concerns. So, you want to
remain in the shadow, yet, you want to play games at the same time. You want to
upset other people. You want to get back at the people you have a problem with.
You are ready to get back
at them behind the scenes. But you are not ready to speak your mind. You cannot
express your views openly when everyone is around. You have to wait until some
people are not around to scheme. Your whole mission for these witch hunts is to
express your displeasure. Displeasure about things that you cannot put in clear
words. But you are watching other people from a distance. You want to destroy
the good things that they are doing. You want to fight them in silence. Your tactics
are meant for the night. But when the lights are on, you don’t have any
problems. You don’t have any concerns. But you are bothered. Why are you being
dishonest? Why is speaking clearly being a problem? End witch-hunt. Confront people
you think you have a problem with. Tell them you have a problem with them.
State the
Problem
If, there is an issue,
let that issue be known. Lay it bare. Bring the matter to the table. Bring the
problem to the table. Raise the problem to the right people. State the problem
clearly. Explain to the concerned people why you think it is a problem. If, you
see it as a problem, then it is a problem. Explain it to people who don’t see
it as a problem. If, a right thinking member of society does not see a problem
in his or her behavior or everyday actions, then you need to reexamine your
issue. Are you the problem or are the other people? You are the one witch-hunting.
Why are you witch-hunting when you can speak? Answer that question. Are you the
problem or other people? If, indeed, you think there is a problem, why haven’t you
said something till now? Is the problem too heavy or too hot? State the
problem.
You got to be sincere. You
got to be honest. You must be clear. If, there is a problem state the problem. State
its basis. Explain why it is a problem if, other people do not see it as a problem.
You cannot just be acting out on other people. You cannot just develop an
attitude towards people. You need to justify your attitude. If, you end up with
an attitude, it is you who is the problem. You have your own issues. Issues that
you cannot express. But you want to take these issues to other people. People who
don’t know you. Yet, you are still witch-hunting against them. Stop monitoring
every detail of other people. Stop watching other people when they go about
their business. Stop being aimless. Engage your time in meaningful events. The reason
why you are seeing a problem where it does not exist, is because you are
meddling.
You want to impose your
values on other people. You want to enter zones where you are not welcome. No one
has invited you in. So, you want to force yourself in. And when people who are
in, do not show any initiative of welcoming you, you suddenly develop an
attitude. You suddenly go rogue. You start scheming. You want to punish them. You
want to do something that will embarrass them. You want to create ruses. You want
them to fall. You want to see them in an awkward situation. End your
witch-hunt. State the problem. Point the problem out. Work for a solution. Bring
the issue to attention. Let other people know that you have a problem and you
want them to listen. You want them to solve it. Say it so that they can hear
you and solve it. But hiding behind gimmicks is questionable. Stop being
questionable. State the problem. Speak openly. Speak your mind.
Approach (People)
If, you specifically have
concern with a person or a group of persons, the best way is to approach the
person or people. Excuse yourself and tell them you have a concern. People will
listen to you. People care. People are interested to know what you would like
to say. Seek their attention. Earn their attention. Bring up the issue as soon
as you get an opportunity. Tell the person that you don’t like this or that. Mention
the things you don’t like that they do. Things that irritate you. Things that
are pushing you to start witch-hunting. Say whatever you don’t like. Speak it
clearly. Aim to be understood. Don’t go rogue. Approach the person or people
you have a problem with. You are genuine and you usually want the irritation to
end, speak clearly. Speak clearly to the concerned people. Tell them that you
will appreciate a change of behavior. That you appreciate them downsizing for
you. People will understand.
Even if, you approach the
person and speak your mind and the behavior continues, you would have done your
part. You would have spoken. You will have gotten something out of your heart. It
will not bother you that much if, they continue doing it. The most important
part is that, you said the problem. You said the problem to the right people. The
people know that you don’t like something. Therefore, if, they continue doing
it, that becomes a matter of respect. They were not listening to you. They do
not respect you. They do not care about you. They are self-centered. But there
is no reasonable person that will act that way. People with ego issues disrespect
not reasonable people. You too be reasonable. Stop witch-hunting when you can say
what is bothering you. End those games. Act honorably. Learn to speak up your
mind. Learn to identify the problem. Address the right people. End witch-hunt. End
your pettiness. Stop snooping. Become constructive. Mind your business.
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