WHERE DO WE DRAW THE LINE?

 BUILDING BETTER HABITS

A divided duo wondering where to draw the line /Credit/Ron Lach

Unending Drama

It has been five years since, two high school friends differed. They went to college. And now, they are settling into their professional careers. Time has changed. Years have passed. However, the two friends who happen to be your friends too. Have not changed. They are still divided. Divided by an issue, which took place five years ago. An issue, which drove a wedge between them, is still holding them back. These former friends have not healed. They still hold grudges. And five years later. They have lost respect for each other. They argue with each other. They don’t listen to each other. And you have a special occasion. You thought five years were a lot of time to solve a problem. However, not for these two past high school friends. They are still stuck in the past. Their maturity has not leveled up. They cannot stay in the same room.  

Your special occasion is coming up. And you wanted all your best friends to attend. You invited all your best friends. The two feuding high school friends were among your best friends. All your best friends understand the importance of your special occasion. It is a big milestone for you. And you are making progress towards making it happen. Plans for your event are in advanced stage. At this critical stage. You have taken your best friends to a fitting. They are supposed to choose clothes. You have provided them with necessary essentials. You found the right fitting shop. The shop has what you want. And you thought it will be a smooth process. You are now adults. And adults think better or should think better. But not these highly opinionated friends. The fitting activity has triggered them. And the drama is on.

Attention has shifted. The objective is no longer choosing the right clothes. It is now about their roles. The roles you gave them. They are differing on who should wear a certain color. They will not share a color. And argument has ensured. Your two friends are settling scores from five years ago. They are doing it in front of everyone. They are wasting time. The shop owner is having none of it. The owner of the shop wants to throw you out. You either take charge of your team or get thrown out. That is the conclusion of the business. You need to take charge. You now have to play the mediator on your feuding friends. These friends were supposed to have grown up. They were supposed to leave high school drama back in high school. But it is not that simple. The drama is as fresh as it was five years ago.

A frustrated man contemplating where to draw the line. Photo/Nicola Barts

Your two friends are emotionally attached to what happened to them. And they have two different stands. The one who lost a relationship feels entitled. She expects the other, whom she thinks is the culprit to submit. However, no one is submitting. They both have an opinion. And they are very competitive. But we need to draw the line. If, your special occasion has to succeed. A line must be drawn. But where do we draw the line? Where do you draw the line? You love your friends. You want them at your event. But you hate their drama. Their immaturity could cost you. Your event might not go down as planned. If they can manage to differ in a fitting shop, what will happen in the main event? Will their emotions run out of control? You need to draw the line. You need to take charge of your event and friends.

If they cannot manage themselves. You must step in. Step in to remind them to come to their senses. Step in and tell them that it is your special occasion. And you don’t want drama. You want your friends to make progress. You want them to grow up a little bit. If only, for this special occasion. That is what the shop owner wants you to do. To draw the line. To demand discipline from your friends. To be the leader. And solve problems. Your friends cannot hemorrhage in front of you. You cannot allow it. It has been five years. The atmosphere will not be damaged. Your two friends might be attached to what happened. But your special occasion is not the right place. They need to understand where and how to argue. They need to learn to make peace. They need to understand how to speak their minds. If one of them is still aggrieved five years later, the aggrieved should learn to speak her mind.

A man talking about where to draw the line. Photo/Moose Photos

She should let the other friend know that what she did five years ago was not right. The relationship that she lost was important to her. Her friendship was important. And it was painful to watch someone she loved and respected steal from her. She should tell these words to the other friend. Being clear can help. However, nurturing a grudge is not helpful. Bringing up this issue is unhealthy. Tell them that they cannot be arguing over the same thing. Every time their path cross. They were supposed to fix their problem long time ago. And if they did not find time in the last five years to solve one problem, they cannot create a second problem. They cannot stall you. They cannot bring up their issues in your event. They should know better. They are supposed to have your best interest at heart. And arguing in a fitting shop is not best interests. Their drama-induced  behavior is unwelcome. Draw the line.

Your two friends either grow up or leave your event. You will have to make a difficult decision. Your two friends need to learn. They cannot bring their competitiveness everywhere. They cannot display their immaturities everywhere. They either end their drama or risk being thrown out. They are killing the mood. They are lowering the quality of your special occasion. They are scandalizing a special moment. They are stealing joy out of the event. They are standing in the way of everyone. Stop them from going further. Take charge. You care about progress. You care about smooth operations. Draw the line. No one should overstep their mandate. People either stay in line or leave. Speak your mind. Let your team know your stand on the drama. It cannot continue beyond the fitting shop.

It cannot spill over to other activities in your special event. You want your energy on your special moment. You want people in your occasion to experience sunshine. So, it will not rain from a five-year drama. Your fighting friends must find a compromise. They need to get over their pettiness. They need to put their pettiness aside. They need to forget that they are archrivals. In your special day. They must fit in the same room. They must observe the policies in the occasion. They must be disciplined. They must respect each other. And leave their problem outside. Their unending drama must have an ending. You will force an ending. You will force common sense between them. You will talk to them. You will advise them. You will advise them as a good friend, to stop feuding.

You will draw the line. You will show them where to draw the line. You will take charge of the fitting process. You will chaperon them. You will stop the drama. You will end the scandal. You will stop them from scandalizing every event they attend. You will stop them from disrespecting each other. You will stop them from tearing each other apart. They were supposed to be friends. They were supposed to look out for each other. They were caring before. You will remind them to start caring again. The scars of five years, should be left to heal. Your two friends should stop feuding. Your two friends should stop being an embarrassment. They should stop distressing your other friends. They should stop attracting the attention of the entire shop. Tell them to work on their petty egos. Their immaturity has been long overdue. They need to grow up. They need to shut up.

Where do we draw the line begins with you. You show people where to draw the line. You show people how to behave. You teach people how to treat your event. You demand discipline from your best friends. You request best behavior at your special occasion. They should respect you. They should respect everyone. They should respect other people’s place of work. They cannot bring scandals in a business. They cannot waste time. They cannot create a hostage crisis. Show them where to draw the line. Demand standards at your event. Lead. Be in charge. Prioritize your needs. Prioritize the needs of your all best friends. Two disagreeing people should not drag you behind. They should not lag everyone behind. They should grow up. If five years wasn’t enough time. Your special occasion has enough time. Be clear to everyone. You want discipline. You want order. And you want progress. Show people where to draw the line.